Answer  by Sheikh Hânî al-Jubayr, judge at the Jeddah Supreme Court:

A woman is supposed to stay close to her guardians and not live away from them. This protects and safeguards her. It also discourages those who might wish to harm her. However, if living away from her guardians presents an overwhelming benefit to her and she is at the same time reasonably guaranteed the safety of herself and her children, then we can pray that there will be nothing wrong with her living away from her family. I advise you, to try to convince one of your guardians to live with you so you can do what you have to do without having to live alone. May Allah bless you with success.

The researchers concluded: A switch from beef and milk to highly refined livestock product analogues such as tofu could actually increase the quantity of arable land needed to supply the UK. Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

This is how the Prophet (peace be upon him) reacted when `Umar b. Abî Salamah – a child eating in his company – was making a scene at the table setting, hastily grabbing food from here and there on the serving platter.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) is our chief example for how we should bring up our children. He did not use harsh words with the boy or hit him. Instead, he gently explained to him what the proper table manners were. Indeed, he turned the incident into an opportunity for instruction.

We need to keep in mind that all human beings are prone to make mistakes. It is in our natures to err, regardless of whether we are young or old. It is by making mistakes that people learn.

When our interactions with our children are based solely upon censure, without giving guidance and direction as well, we are the ones making the mistake. It is a mistake in the way we are raising our children that can have a very negative effect on their personalities. Such a one-sided approach is wrong, whether our censure is purely verbal – “You don’t understand anything!” “You are a moron!” – or a physical beating.

By conducting ourselves in this way, we make our children’s mistakes a cause for us to shatter their self-esteem. We weaken their developing abilities and their self-confidence. This can lead to psychological problems like introversion and fear. It is a reason some small children to suffer from bed-wetting and have impaired speech patterns.

As children grow up, they retain in their memories those various humiliating punishments and feel resentment towards those who had used such an approach with them. Worse still, when they grow up, he might relate to others in the same way.

Therefore, we should pause before rebuking our children and ask ourselves the following:

1. Did we teach our children the correct way to conduct themselves in this situation?

2. Will hitting them and using harsh words with them really instruct them and bring about the desired improvement?

We need to follow the Prophet’s example and turn our children’s mistakes into opportunities for instruction and for their personal development. We need to do the following:

1. It is imperative to restore the child’s confidence after the child makes a mistake. This confidence is what builds strong barrier against the child repeating the same mistake in the future.

2. We need to inform the child of the proper mode of conduct for the situation in question.

3. We need to teach the child to bear the responsibility for his or her mistakes. This develops the child’s inner proficiency. If a child breaks a glass, do not get upset. Be calm and have the child assist in cleaning up the mess. Correct the child gently and then show the child the proper way to hold the glass.

4. We need to smile or maintain a pleasant countenance when impressing upon a child that he or she has made a mistake.

5. It is important for us to make a clear distinction between the mistake and the child who committed it.

6. It is important for us to develop within the child the ability to clearly recognize mistakes on his own.

7. We need to listen to the child carefully and closely in order to understand the source of the mistake.

8. We must not allow the child to succumb to the fear of failure.

9. We must not grow despondent when the child repeats the same mistake over and over again.

Love and forbearance are far more effective in dealing with children then anger and frustration. We need to be an example for our children in all aspects of life.

We need to do our utmost to make our relationship with our children one of love and affection so they will readily learn from us what is correct. [Sheikh Fahd b. Ahmad al-Ahmad]

Rights and Limits

First of all, it is important for us to keep in mind that Islam came to establish two very important fundamentals for human beings:
Rights and Limits.

Everyone and everything has certain rights given to it by the Creator and Sustainer of the universe (Allah). At the same time, each creation has its own limitations established by Allah.

First Right – Allah has the right to be worshipped without making partners from what He has created. Direct worship to Him, alone.

Second Right – Prophet’s right to be followed according to his treaching and commandments.

Third Right – Parents rights to be honored and cared for, with special emphasis on the mother first.

Fourth Right – Wives and Husbands have rights on each other.

Conditions 1,400 Years Ago

Now let us do some basic research here. We begin by looking into the condition of the women in various societies at the time 1,400 years ago when Allah revealed the Quran to Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Pagan Arabs – Burying Girls Alive

During that time the pagan Arab men used to bury their newborn daughters alive in the sand, out of shame for having something so low and disgusting like a girl instead of a son. Women were treated horribly and with utter disgust.

Men could marry as many as they liked and very often they owned women like cattle or sheep. There were no laws to protect the women and they had no rights at all.

Christians – Arguing If Women Had Souls

Christians at that time were holding council meetings to determine whether or not a woman even had a soul. The church blamed “Eve” the mother of all humans after Adam, peace be upon him, for the “original sin” and damned her and her seed for what she had done.

Priests – Best Men – Forbidden Marriage – To Any Women

Priests, bishops, cardnels and even the Pope are the very best of the Catholic men within the church. Yet the church still forbids their clergymen the chance for marriage and families. This unnatural situation has caused very serious ramifications throughout the society around the world.

Nuns – Best Women – No Marriage – No Children

Nuns are the very best of the Catholic women. They cover themselves in proper attire much the same way as the Muslim women. Yet, they are never allowed to marry or have children throughout their lives. This unnatural condition has caused untold number of disgraceful and disgusting practices within the very church itself.

If Only Bad People Have Children – What About Tomorrow?

We must ask the question, “If the very best of the men and the very best of the women are not allowed to marry or have children – does this mean only the worst of the people are the ones allowed to reproduce and populate the world?” – And where will that leave us tomorrow?

Jews – Blame Women and Curse Women

The Jews blamed women for the “original sin” and as such they were treated with disgust. A woman’s monthly cycle was considered by the Old Testament of the Bible to be a “curse from God” for her inequities. Her child bearing pains were also a ‘punishment from God’ for her bringing man down from heaven.

Islam – No Blame On Women For Evil

Islam does not blame Eve for Adam’s sin. Each of them accepted their own mistake and repented to Allah, and asked Allah to forgive them and Allah did forgive them.

Now before going any further, please read surah An Nisa (chapter 4 in the Quran) – all the way through, in order to better understand what is actually being said about women, men and marriage.

Read Quran

Now let us think about the verses. Do you believe that Allah Knows what He created and He has revealed the perfect ‘deen’? Do you know the condition of the people at the time the order came to restrict the number of wives? (Restricted to be only four)

Now read the verse about having more than one wife, very carefully. [4:3]

What does it say? And what do you understand from it?

Now read the ayah (verse) that forbids men to marry women who are already married. [4:24].

Now read from An Nisa (Chapter 4) about the role of men and women. [4:34]

Man Supports And Protects Women

Do you understand that one must take on the role of supporter, protector, provider, custodian and servant to the family (man’s role)?

Woman Gives Birth – Raises Children

One must take on the role of carrying the child and delivering it and then feeding it and raising it to become a true servant of Allah (woman’s role).

Not Equal – But Treated Fairly In Justice

Men and women are not the same nor are they “equal” as some folks would have us believe. Whatever is on one side of an ‘equals’ sign must be exactly the same as what is on the other side without any difference in value, only in the way that it is expressed. How then could we say that a man, who is unable to conceive or give birth and then breast feed a baby is the equal to a woman who can?

Equal In Faith And Actions

They are equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course. But still they are not the same as each other. Each one must fulfill their role as humans.

Children’s Rights Protected

Islam is also very much about rights. Children also have rights in Islam. When a man dies his wealth is left to his family. How could the court know who to give the wealth of a man, if he was one of several husbands to a woman? How would a child know who his father was? No society ever supported the concept of a woman being married to two or more men at the same time.

Women’s Right – Best Treatment

Almost every society supported the concept of a man having more than one woman. Yet, they did not limit the number nor did they provide the protection and maintenance that Islam insists on for each one. Islam came to set things straight. Women were given rights. Men were strictly ordered to treat their women with the very best of treatment.

Limit – Number in Marriage

When the verse was revealed the companions of Muhammad, peace be upon him, did not run out with the attitude that they were going to get four wives all of a sudden. Some of them already had much more than that and these men had to divorce their wives, if they had more than four. So this was not an order to go out and get four wives. It was an order to begin limitations. And the first limitation was; No more than four.

Limit – Equal Maintenance and Treatment

Second, the limitation of equal treatment for all of them. How could a man keep more than one wife unless he was exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly strong and virile?

Next, the limitation very clearly states; “.. but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one …“

Muslims Today – Most Monogamous

Step by step, the men of Islam have come to be known today as the most monogamous of all men on earth (we only have one wife). Check for yourself and see. In the majority of all the Muslim homes on earth, a man gets married once, to one woman and then he stays married to her until the death of either himself or his wife.

Woman’s Right To Choose Any Husband She Likes -
Even If He Is Already Married

One very important point that is often overlooked by modern society is the right that Islam gave to the women that it does not give to the man. A man is limited to marry only from the woman who is not already married. Obviously, this provides rights for the children and provides for them from inheritance from the father. But Islam also permits the women to marry a man who is already married to protect her in a society where the number of women outnumbers the population of men. Additionally, the woman has a large selection of men to choose from. In fact, she has the right to choose from any man in the community as long as he does not already have four wives. She also has the opportunity to see how the other wife was being treated and go into a marriage knowing exactly what to expect from her husband. After all, he must treat her in the same way as he is treating the other wife.

Women Need Husbands – Allah Provided the Answer

The prophet, peace be upon him, predicted that in the Last Days the women would outnumber the men to a great extent. Today we are seeing this become a reality all over the world. Allah has already provided for us for this occasion. After all, He is the One who makes it all happen and He already knew that many women would come into Islam in these days. He also knew many of the Muslim men would be killed or die at an early age, just as it is happening these days. These women all need husbands. Allah has given us the solution to all of life’s problems.

Women’s Right to Vote – 1,400 Years Ago

We might add that Islam also gave the women full status as citizens over 1,400 years ago by giving her to right to speak and vote the same as anyone else. American women had to take their cause to the streets with “Women’s Suffrage” and were not granted the right to vote until just ninety years ago.

Women Keep Their Identity – And Their Names

Additionally, Islam protected women’s rights to keep their identity and they were not considered property of some man. As such, they were no longer forced to change their last names to be that of their husbands. This is still the practice of Muslim women today just as it was fourteen hundred years ago.

Women Keep Their Property And Earnings – Men Must Share

Yet, at the same time the western society is so concerned about the way Islam demands that a couple be married, the man actually must work instead of the woman; the woman owns her own property without giving anything for the support of the house or the child; a child has the right to his or her own mother raising them instead of a baby sitter or day care; father must support his children; divorce is hated; and marriage is sanctified.

West Can’t Tolerate Man And Woman – In Marriage

It is strange isn’t it, a society like America, has no problem accepting sex without marriage; homosexuality; same sex marriages; sex without responsibility; children without fathers; and divorces are more common place than the measles or chicken pox. Yet, there is no tolerance for marriage between a man and a woman if it is not on their terms.

What Needs to Be Re-evaluated?

Compare the two for yourself and see which one needs correction. [www.islamtomorrow.com]

In the event of a family dispute, the Qur’an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not overlook her POSITIVE ASPECTS  (see Qur’an 4:19). If the problem relates to the wife’s behavior, her husband may exhort her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is likely to be sufficient. In cases where the problem continues, the husband may express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a separate bed from hers. There are cases, however, in which a wife persists in deliberate mistreatment and expresses contempt of her husband and disregard for her marital obligations. Instead of divorce, the husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in some cases. Such a measure is more accurately described as a gentle tap on the body, but NEVER ON THE FACE, making it more of a symbolic measure then a punitive one.  Following is the related Qur’anic text:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.  Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.  As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) do not share their beds, (and last) beat (tap) them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all). (4:34)

Even here, that maximum measure is limited by the following:

a. It must be seen as A RARE EXCEPTION TO THE REPEATED EXHORTATION OF MUTUAL RESPECT, KINDNESS AND GOOD TREATMENT, discussed earlier. Based on the Qur’an and hadith this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband’s reasonable requests on a consistent basis (nushuz).  Even then, other measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.

b. As defined by hadith, it is NOT PERMISSIBLE TO STRIKE ANYONE’S FACE, CAUSE ANY BODILY HARM OR EVEN BE HARSH. What the hadith qualified as dharban ghayra mubarrih, or light striking, was interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of miswak (a small natural toothbrush)! They further qualified permissible “striking” as that which leaves no mark on the body.  It is interesting that this latter fourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the criterion used in contemporary American law to separate a light and harmless tap or strike from “abuse” in the legal sense.  This makes it clear that even this extreme, last resort, and “lesser of the two evils” measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions of “physical abuse,” “family violence, ” or “wife battering” in the 20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are seen as national concerns.

c. The permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of continued refraction DOES NOT IMPLY ITS DESIRABILITY. In several ahadith, Prophet Muhammad (P) discouraged this measure.  Among his sayings are the following: “Do not beat the female servants of Allah;” “Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you;” and”[It is not a shame that] one of you beats his wife like [an unscrupulous person] beats a slave and maybe he sleeps with her at the end of the day.” (See Riyadh Al-Saliheen, op.cit,p.p. 137-140).  In another hadith the Prophet(P) said:

…How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?… (Sahih Al-Bukhari,op.cit., vol.8.hadith 68,pp.42-43).

d. True following of the sunnah is to follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad (P), who NEVER RESORTED TO THAT MEASURE, regardless of the circumstances.

e. Islamic teachings are universal in nature.  They respond to the needs and circumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances. Some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be effective in others.  by definition, a “permissible” act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden.  In fact it may be BETTER TO SPELL OUT THE EXTENTof permissibility, such as in the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted and unqualified, or ignoring it all together.  In the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and real abuse.

f. Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by any “Muslim” can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur’an or hadith).  Such EXCESSES AND VIOLATIONS ARE TO BE BLAMED ON THE PERSON(S) HIMSELF, as it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet(pbuh).

1. Definition of Polygamy

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is Polygamy where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited Polygamy is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

Now coming to the original question, why is a man, allowed to have more than one wife?

2. The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says, “Marry only one”.

The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures, one can marry as many as one wish. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.

In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygamy is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of Polygamy continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (960 C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.

3. Hindus are more polygamous than Muslims. The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

Let us now analyze why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.

4. Qur’an permits limited Polygamy

As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:

“Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.” [Al-Qur'an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for Polygamy and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women….” [Al-Qur'an 4:129]

Therefore Polygamy is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

1. ‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory
2. ‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged
3. ‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed
4. ‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged
5. ‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygamy falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

5. Average life span of females is more than that of males

By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

6. India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide. India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighboring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.

7. World female population is more than male population

In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gay’s i.e. sodomites. The USA as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.

8. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical. Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in USA who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays).

There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.

In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honorable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honorable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.

There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited Polygamy, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

Q: If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband?

A: A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.

Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical. Surah Nisa Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you cannot marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa Chapter 4 verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married”.

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:

1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father.

Psychologists tell us those children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names!

I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point, which was applicable for the past, may not be applicable for the present.

2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman

3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.

4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases, which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.

The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.

Polygamy in other religions not only Islam! And it is completely logical.

1. In order to answer this we must know where to go for our answers

“If you differ in anything among yourselves refer it to Allah and His Messenger (saw), if ye do believe in Allah and the Last Day” (an Nisaa’ 4:59) “But no by thy Lord they can have no Faith until they make you (O Muhammad saw) judge in all disputes between them and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions and accept them with the fullest submission.” (an Nisaa’ 4:65)

2. Why the Quran and the Sunnah, not my own thoughts?

“Is he who is on clear proof from His Lord, like those for whom their evil deeds that they do are beautiful for them, while they follow their own lusts?” (Muhammad 47:14) “And those who disbelieve and deny our Ayats (proofs, evidences) are those who will be the dwellers of the Hellfire.” (al Maai’dah 5:10) “And whoever contradicts and opposes the Messenger after the right path has been shown to him, and follows other than the believers way, We shall keep him in the path he has chosen, and burn him in Hell Hell – what an evil destination!” (an Nisaa’ 4:115) Confusion after referring things to Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw) will only come if you deny the clear (Muhkam) ayat of Allah (swt)! “Nay, but they have denied the truth (this Quran) when it has come to them, so they are in a confused state.” (Qaaf 50:5)

3. Who do we invoke (call upon) for help?

For a minimum of 17 times a day we say in our salah: “You alone we worship, and you alone we ask for help” (al Faatihah 1:5) And the Prophet (saw) “When you ask, ask from Allah, and when you seek help, seek help from Allah.” (Tirmidhi) Allah (swt) gives us many examples in the Quran of nations from the past who in the time of need ask Allah (swt) alone for help, but when Allah (swt) answers their needs and saves them they turn back to shirk and kufr. “And when they embark on a ship they invoke Allah, making their faith pure for Him only, but when He brings them safely to land, behold they give a share of their worship to others.” (al A’nkaboot 29:65)

4. What powers do the peers, saints and walees you call upon have?

“And those, whom you invoke or call upon instead of Allah, own not even a Qitmir (thin membrane over date stone). If you invoke them, they hear not your call; and if they were to hear, they could not grant it (your request ) to you.” (Faatir 35:13-14) “Call upon those whom you assert besides Allah; they possess not even an atom’s weight either in the heavens or on the earth” (Sabaa’ 34:22) Say, “Have you taken protectors other than Him such as have no power either for benefit or for harm to themselves?” themselves?”(ar Ra’d 13:16) “Verily, those whom you call upon besides Allah are slaves like you” (al A’raaf 7:194)

5. Some say “They only bring us closer to Allah (swt).” (intermediaries)

“…And those who take protectors (Auliya) besides Him (say): “We worship them only that they may bring us near to Allah. Verily, Allah will judge between them concerning that wherein they differ. Truly, Allah guides not him who is a liar, and a disbeliever.” (az Zumar 39:3)

6. Can the peers, saints, walees in the Graves (the dead) answer your problems?

“Verily, you cannot make the dead to hear nor can you make the deaf to hear the call…” (an Naml 27:80) “Nor are (alike) the living and the dead. Verily, Allah makes whom He wills hear, but you cannot make hear those who are in the graves.” (Faatir 35:22)

7. Do peers, saints, walees have knowledge of Ghaib (unseen)?

Say,” None in the heavens and the earth knows the Ghaib (unseen) except Allah…” (an Naml 27:65) Say,” Unseen belongs to Allah alone…” (Yunus 10:20) “Verily, Allah is the All All-Knower of the unseen of the heavens and earth…” (Faatir 35:38)

8. What about Fortunetellers?

“Verily, Allah, with Him (Alone) is the knowledge of the Hour; He sends down the rain and knows that which is in the wombs. No person knows what he will earn tomorrow, and no person knows in what land he will die. Verily, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware.” (Luqmaan 31:34) “Who so ever approaches a fortuneteller and believes what he says, he has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad (saw).” (Ahmad, Abu Dawud)

9. How do peers, saints, walees claim the Ghaib (unseen)?

Aaisha (ra) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saw) was asked about the people who claim to know the unseen. He said, “They do not know” They said, “But some times they give words that turn out to be true.” He Nabi (saw) answered her, “Those words of truth are from what the jinn stole. He says them into the ears of his patron and with it one hundred lies.” (Bukhaari, Muslim, Ahmad)

10. Do the messengers have knowledge of the Ghaib (unseen)?

Allah (swt) gives to the messengers what pleases Allah (swt), like seeing Jinn/ Angels etc. Say (O Muhammad saw) “I possess no power or benefit or harm to myself except as Allah wills. If I had the knowledge of the Ghaib(unseen), I should ha have secured for my self an abundance of wealth and no evil should have touched me. I am but a Warner and bringer of glad tidings unto people who believe.” (al A’raaf 7:188)

11. Dua (invoking/asking) to other than Allah (swt), does it lead to shirk?

Shirk is to associate partners with Allah (swt) in His Lordship, in your worship to Him or in His names and attributes. “Supplication (dua) is worship” (Tirmidhi) So making dua is worship and our worship must be solely and purely for Allah (swt). Allah (swt) knows of the wicked shirk you commit. “And they worship besides Allah things that harm them not, nor profit them, and they say: “these are our intercessors with Allah.” say: “Do you inform Allah of that which he knows not in the heavens and the earth?” (Yunus 10:18)

12. Worship is only for Allah (swt)!

“He has commanded that you worship none but him” (Yusuf 12:40) “Worship Allah and join none with Him” (an Nisaa’ 4:36)

13. Allah (swt) calls people who take His servants as protectors instead of Allah (swt), kaafirs kaafirs (unbelievers)!

“Do the Unbelievers think that they can take My slaves as protectors besides Me? Verily We have prepared Hell for the e Unbelievers for (their) entertainment” (al Kahf 18:102)

14. Does Allah (swt) forgive shirk?

“Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should be set up with him, but he forgives except that to whom he wills.” (an Nisaa’ 4:48) Allah (swt) does not forgive those who commit shirk shirk (attributing partners unto him) the eternal fire will be their abode if they die in such a state. It is reported in the saheeh hadeeth “I have forbidden paradise for the Mushriks” (Bukhaari)

15. Is their any excuse for shirk?

Allah (swt) has already made us testify to His Oneness, so you have no excuse! Allah (swt) says in the Quran: “And remember when your Lord brought forth from the children of Adam, from their loins, their seed and made them testify as to themselves (saying): “Am I not your Lord?” they said: “yes! We testify,” lest you should say on the day of Resurrection; “Verily, we have been unaware of this” (al A’raaf 7:172) This is enough as a proof against us. Allah (swt) has created mankind on a fitrah that we worship none but Him , that is to say we are all born with a natural predisposition to worship ALLAH (swt) alone “So set you your face towards the religion (of pure Islamic monotheism) Hanifa (worship none but Allah). Allah’s fitrah (i.e. Islamic Monotheism) with which he created mankind. No change let there be in the religion of Allah.” (ar Rum 30:30) And ibn Kathir said “Allah created his creation to recognize Him and know His Tawheed (Oneness).” But it is shaitan who misleads the weak as is mentioned in the hadith in Muslim. “I created my servants Hunafa (i.e. Monotheists), then the shaitan misled them from there religion.”

16. The people who you worship besides Allah (swt) will disown you on the Day of Resurrection!

“When those who were followed, disown those who followed them, and they see the torment then all their relations will be cut off from them. And those who followed will say: “If only we had one more chance to return, we would disown them as they have disowned us” Thus Allah will show them their deeds as regrets for them. And they will never get out of the fire.” (al Baqarah 2:166-167) “If you invoke them, they hear not your call; and if they were to hear, they could not grant it to you. And on the Day of Resurrection, they will disown your worshipping them.” (Faatir 35:14)

17. But the Ulema, Mulwi Mufti have told us to do these inexcusable acts!

Allah (swt) in the Quran tells us many stories and accounts of nations of the past and the causes of their misguided behaviour so that we do not fall in the same trap. The Prophet said, “You will follow the ways of those nations who were before you, span by span and cubit by cubit so much so that even if they entered a hole of a lizard, you would follow them.” We said, “O Allah’s Apposlte! (Do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He (saw) said, “Whom else?” (Bukhaari) If we don’t want to follow the Jews and Christians we should know their down fall and not make it ours. “They (Jews and Christians) took their monks and rabbis to be their Lords besides Allah..” (at Tawbah 9:31)

18. What happens to your good deeds?

Say” shall we tell you the greatest losers in respect of deeds? Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life while they thought that they were acquiring good by their deeds. They are those who deny the Ayat of their Lord…” (al Kahf 18:103-105) “As for those who disbelieved, their deeds are like a mirage in a desert…” (an Nur 24:39) “…If you join in worship with Allah, surely your deeds will be in vain, and you will certainly be among the losers.” (az Zumar 39:65)

19. The Right Tawwasul (the correct way in asking someone to pray for you)

You are not allowed to practice Tawwasul with a dead person (as I have explained in question six) “But you cannot make he hear those who are in graves!” (Faatir 35:22). However you can ask anyone alive to pray for you as was the case with the blind man when he asked the prophet (saw) to pray for him and as a result he was cured of his lack of sight. When the prophet Nabi (saw) passed away no Sahaabi went to his grave and used him for tawwasul When famine came in the reign of Umar ibn al-khatab, Umar said “When the prophet was alive we used to use him for, tawwasul, we used to ask him to pray for the rain, but now Nabi (saw) has passed away we will ask his uncle Abbas”. He prayed and it rained” (Bukhaari) If tawwasul of the dead was allowed Umar would have gone to the prophet’s grave for tawwasul ! The grave was in Madina! At the heart of the Khilafah, yet he still asked the Prophet’s Uncle.

20. Only Allah (swt) can remove harm and answer prayers!

And your Lord said: “Invoke me; I will answer your (prayer).” (Ghaafir 40:60) “…I am indeed near, I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on me…” (al Baqarah 2:186) “…for my Lord is near, ready to answer.” (Hud 11:61) “And if Allah touches you with harm, none can remove it but He, and if He touches you with good, then He is able to do all things.” (al An’am 6:17)

JazakAllah Khair…

Backbiting and slandering are shame and disgrace. Their perpetrator is detested and he shall not have a noble death. Allah forbids these acts in His Book when He says,

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful” (Al-Hujuraat 49: 12)

This verse strongly forbids backbiting for Allah likens the backbiter to one who eats the flesh of his dead brother. If he would hate eating the flesh of his brother, he should also hate to eat his flesh while he is alive by backbiting and slandering him.

When one reflects deeply over this assimilation it will be enough to keep one away from backbiting.

Aboo Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said,
“Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” (Muslim)

Aboo Bakr narrated that the Prophet said in Mina on the day of slaughtering (10th day of Dhul-Hijjah),

“Verily, your blood, property and honour have become sacred to one another as the sacredness of this day of yours in this month of yours and in this city of yours. Indeed, have I conveyed the Message?” (Al-Bukharee and Muslim)

Therefore, guard your tongue, fellow Muslims, from this debasing sin, for whoever guards his tongue from sins and uses his limbs in acts of obedience to Allah has prospered. Sahl ibn Sa’d narrated that the Messenger of Allah said

, “Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse, I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise.” (Bukharee and Muslim)

Aboo Moosa Al-Ash’aree said

, “I asked the Messenger of Allah: Who is the best Muslim? The Messenger of Allah replied, “He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands.” (Muslim)

Dear Muslims! Beware of slipping of your tongues and do not give it free hand to wreak havoc on you. For free tongue destroys its owner and causes him calamities and evils.

Aboo Sa’eed Al-Khudree narrated that the Messenger of Allah said,

“When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear Allah as regards us for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked.’” (At-Tirmidhee)

Mu’aadh ibn Jabal said,

“I said: O Messenger of Allah tell me of a deed that will make me enter Paradise and keep me away from the Fire. The Prophet said, ‘You have asked of a great matter but it is easy for whosoever Allah makes it easy. You should worship Allah without associating anything with Him, perform Salaah, pay Zakaah (charity), fast during the month of Ramadaan and perform pilgrimage if you are able to.’ He said further, ‘Should I show you the gateways to good? Fasting is a shield (from evils), charity extinguishes sins as water extinguishes fire and praying in the middle of the night.’ He then recited this verse, ‘Their sides forsake their beds to invoke their Lord in fear and hope and they spend (charity in Allah’s cause) out of what We have bestowed them. No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.’ (As-Sajdah 32: 16-17) The Messenger of Allah then said, ‘Should I tell you the head of the matter, its pillar and its peak?’ I said: Yes O Messenger of Allah. He then said, ‘The head of the matter is Islam, its pillar is Salaah (prayer) and its peak is Jihaad in the way of Allah.’ He then asked, ‘Should I tell you of the foundation of all that?’ I said: Yes O Messenger of Allah. He then took hold of his tongue and said, ‘Hold back this.’ I said: O Messenger of Allah, are we going to be held responsible for what we utter? He said, ‘May your mother be bereaved of you[This statement is used by the Arabs to rebuke someone, and its literal meaning is not meant] does anything cast people into the Fire on their faces except what their tongues have uttered?’” (At-Tirmdhee)

Anas narrated that the Messenger of Allah said,

“When I was ascended to heaven, I passed by a people who had copper nails with which they scratched their faces and chests, and I said, ‘O Jibreel, who are these?’ He said, ‘These are those who used to eat other people’s flesh and attack their honour.’” (Aboo Dawood)

Therefore do not treat the issue of backbiting with indifference because it is a great sin. Allah says, “

You considered it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great.” (An-Noor 24: 15)

Aboo Bakr used to take hold of his tongue and say this is that which caused me destruction. He said this as a sign of humbleness.

Backbiting is so widespread that it has become the topic of people’s meetings and an avenue for expressing their anger, misgivings and jealousy with those who indulge in backbiting believing that they are hiding their own imperfections and harming others. They are oblivious of the fact that they are only harming themselves. This is because the backbiter if the wrongdoer and his victim is the wronged and on the Day of Resurrection both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before Allah Who is the Just Judge and the wronged will appeal to Allah to avenge the wrong done to him, Allah will then give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him in accordance with his wrong by backbiting his brother on a Day that no father will give his son any of his good deeds nor a friend to his friend. All will be saying, ‘Myself, myself.’

The Messenger of Allah said,
“Usury has seventy something kinds, the smallest of which is for a man to have intercourse with his mother and the highest act of usury is for a Muslim to attack the honour of his Muslim brother.” He also said, “Whoever protects the honour of his brother, Allah will protect him from Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.” (At-Tirmidhee)

So prevent the backbiter of affronting the honour of Muslims. Allah says,

“O you who believe, keep your duty to Allah and fear Him and speak (always) the truth.” (Al-Ahzaab 33: 70)

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allah for whoever fears Allah, He protects him from torment and doubles reward for him. Allah says,

“And indeed We have created man and We know what his own self whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our knowledge). (Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being after he or she has attained the age of puberty), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions). Not a word does he or she utter, but there is a watcher by him (ready to record it.” (Qaaf 50: 16-18)

Brothers in Islam, gossiping about others is also another vicious type of backbiting. It means carrying tales from one people to another with the intention of sowing dissention among them. Allah condemned this deed when He said,

“And obey not everyone who swears much, and is considered worthless. A slanderer going about with calumnies.” (Al-Qalam 68: 10-11)

The Prophet said,

“The gossiper will not enter Paradise.”

Fear Allah therefore, dear brothers, and call yourselves to account before you are called to account and weigh your own deeds before they are weighed for you.

Be aware also dear Muslims, that the Ulamaa have explained that it is allowed for the wronged to inform the authorities of the wrong done to him as it is allowed for the person who sees vice to inform those who are capable of removing it and prevent its perpetrator from committing further vice. It is also allowed for the one seeking for religious decision to mention the wrong done to him to the knowledgeable man from whom he is seeking a decision in order to make things clear for him. It is also permissible for you to tell whoever seeks your advice on a person of something about him. It is not allowed for you to hide what you know about him so that he will not be deceived. All these types of speaking about others are lawful.

The obligation of the fast of Ramadhaan and it’s time

It’s obligation is indicated in the Qur.aan, the Sunnah and al-ijmaa’ (major consensus), as follows:

1) {O you who believe! Observing the fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become al-Muttaqoon (the pious). (Observing (fasts)) for a fixed number of days, but if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up) from other days. And as for those who can fast with difficulty, (i.e. an old man, etc.), they have (a choice either to fast or) to feed a miskeen (poor person) (for every day). But whoever does good of his own accord, it is better for him. And that you fast, it is better for you if only you know. The month of Ramadaan in which was revealed the Qur.aan, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion (between right and wrong). So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadhaan i.e. is present at his home), he must observe the fasting that month, and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number (of days which one did not observe fasting must be made up) from other days. Allaah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you. (He wants that you) must complete the same number (of days), and that you must magnify Allaah (i.e. to say Takbeer (Allaahu-Akbar; Allaah is the Most Great) on seeing the crescent of the months of Ramadhaan and Shawwaal) for having guided you so that you may be grateful to Him}, [Soorah al-Baqarah,Aayaat 183-185]
And the mention of the command {prescribed} is indicative of it’s obligation.

2) And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((Islaam is built upon five (pillars)…)) and amongst them he mentioned the fast of Ramadhaan.

And the ahaadeeth indicating it’s obligation and it’s excellence are many and are well known.
The wisdom behind the legislation of fasting (Ramadhaan) is that it involves purification and cleansing of the soul from evil manners and characteristics. This is because fasting restricts the influence of Shaytaan upon a person, since his influence flows through the human body as the blood flows.

Fasting instigates a lack of interest in worldly desires and instead causes one to remember the Hereafter. Likewise, it brings about awareness for the poor and destitute, causing one to feel their pain since the fast generates the feeling of hunger and thirst.

According to the Sharee’ah, fasting means to abstain from specific things such as food, drink, sexual intercourse and other than that which is mentioned in the Sharee’ah. This is in addition to evil actions and their like.

The obligation of the daily fast begins at the adhaan of the Fajr prayer and ends at sunset (at theadhaan of the Maghrib prayer). Allaah says:
{So now have sexual relations with them} i.e. the wives, [Soorah al-Baqarah, Aayah 187]
{and seek that which Allaah has ordained for you (offspring), and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your fast till the nightfall}, [Soorah al-Baqarah, Aayah 187]
And the meaning of {until the white thread of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread} is that the light of dawn is distinct from the darkness of night.

The obligation of the fast of Ramadhaan begins once the month has started.

There are three ways to establish the beginning of the month:

1) The sighting of the moon (with the naked eye). Allaah says:
{So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadhaan i.e. is present at his home), he must observe the fasting that month}, [Soorah al-Baqarah,Aayah 185]
And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((Fast when you see it)), so it becomes obligatory for one to fast if he sights the moon (of Ramadhaan) himself.

2) Testification as to the moon (of Ramadhaan) having been sighted or notification of it. Therefore, the obligation of fasting comes into effect if someone, who is trustworthy and fully aware of his faculties, sights the moon (of Ramadhaan) and testifies as such. This is based upon the statement of Ibn ‘Umar (radhi-yallaahu ‘anhumaa):
((The people were looking for the moon (of Ramadhaan) and I informed the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) that I had seen it, so he fasted and ordered the people to fast)). [Transmitted by Abu Daawood and authenticated by Ibn Hibbaan and al-Haakim].

3) Completing the 30 days of Sha’baan. This is when the moon (of Ramadhaan) has not been sighted on the night of the 30th of Sha’baan, (preceding the day of the 29th of Sha’baan) in addition to the presence of that which prevents the moon (of Ramdhaan) from being sighted, such as clouds or the like,

since the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((Indeed (each) month is 29 days (long), so do not fast until you see the moon (of Ramdhaan) and do not stop fasting until you see it (the month of Shawwaal) and if it is cloudy, then estimate)).
And the meaning of ((estimate)) is to complete the thirty days of Sha’baan, in accordance to that which is confirmed in the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (radhi-yallaahu ‘anhu):

((And if it is cloudy, then count thirty days)).
The fast of Ramadhaan is obligatory upon every able Muslim who is fully aware of all his faculties. Therefore, it is not obligatory upon the kaafir and nor is it accepted from him. However, if he were to become a Muslim during the month, he would be required to fast the remainder of the month although he is not required to make up that which has passed whilst he was in the state of kufr.

Also, the fast is not obligatory upon the one who is insane or the one who is travelling.

Rather they are required to make up for that which they miss once their valid situation has changed. Allaah says:

{and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number (of days which one did not observe fasting must be made up) from other days}, [Soorah al-Baqarah, Aayah 185]

And the address for the obligation of the fast encompasses both the traveller and the non-traveller, the one who is ill and one who is well, the one who is in a state of purity and one who is on her menses or post-partum bleeding and the one who feels faint.

Therefore, fasting is obligatory upon all these people, since they have been addressed (in the command) to fast.

So, when their circumstances (as mentioned above) do not permit them to fast, they are required to make up for any missed days.

The non-traveller is required to fast the month whilst the woman on her menses or post-partum bleeding is excused until she completes her menstrual cycle and the blood ceases to flow.

As for the one who is ill, then he is required to make up for any missed days.

However, if his state permits him to fast while enduring difficulties, then there is no harm in him fasting so long as it is not detrimental to his health.

So, the traveller and the one who is ill can choose whether or not to fast, without obligation.

Whoever is prevented from fasting due to any (Islaamically) acceptable reason must refrain from all that breaks the fast if the circumstance changes thus rendering them capable to fast.

This includes the traveller who has arrived at his destination, the woman on her menses or post-partum bleeding who has completed her menstrual cycle, the disbeliever who has accepted Islaam, the one who is insane but regains his sanity and the young child who attains adulthood.

In addition, this includes everyone when the belated announcement is made during the day as to the month of Ramadhaan having already started.

So, in this case, all Muslims are required to refrain from all that breaks the fast for the rest of the day after which, they are to make up this day whereby they had not fasted.

Shaykh Ibn Fowzaan
al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhee – Volume 1, Pages 261-264

Source:www.fatwa-online.com